Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Work anxiety- my puppets, my dance

Sitting in a haze. After a good long 7 week summer holiday, work is finally starting. It went so fast, we all think that and then we start arranging our bags for the next day. Try finding the work keys, the laptop, old fashioned calendar, slippers to work in, the train ticket... and frankly I am in such a haze that I cannot figure out anything!!!!
Aghhhhh do I have to? Really, can I not be on a holiday forever? Can the bills not be paid automatically, I mean using someone else's money? And then I suddenly remember the ....eh! who am I fooling now? I love my job, I do- really. And I always end up loving going to work after a couple of days. I think one is lucky if one can feel this way. So I am going to lift the Royal butt and pluck those eyebrows, thread the slightly growing mustache, hit the gym and try to get my act together. 
Work is important, something that is yours, that keeps you stimulated and keeps you going. 
Even though every time I scratch the lottery ticket, I tell myself the future plans in a matter of 30 seconds- it usually starts with how quick I would quit my work, then gets down to working part time and finally to I would save and work for financing a lot of holidays. 
Strange enough I never settle down at not working at all. 

I remember how as a stay home mom for a year and a couple of months with both kids, I started climbing walls. I waited for Martin to get home, ready with an evening snack and with a list of self pity stuff, sometimes a list of gossips, sometimes disappointments. How my life became quite confided and I missed talking about work, studies and as pretentious as it sounds, intellectual stuff. I know a  lot of moms don't feel that way, kudos to you, but that was me- I love my kids but I love myself too. I would always priorities them over me but I needed my stimulation so bad!

So as I am writing this, suddenly the list of things to do at work is striking me. Am I overwhelmed? No, I feel I need to get there and do what I am good at, and things I need to get better at. 
It is about that balance. It's your family, friends, your work and your interests. It  is got to get unbalanced at times,and that is the charm of everyday life! As long as we know that it is we holding the puppets and that we have the authority of making them dance the way we want. 
So dear friends, one trick is to take your smart phone and create an album for yourself. Some favorite pictures from the holidays, some things you love, your kids, your pet, your love, your newly renovated bedroom, something you succeeded big time in cooking etc... While the anxiety hits you on your way to work, go through the album and try feeling happy for all you did, all you can do and all that is already planned and your loved ones you will go home to at the end of the day. Just get there and do it!

Next step for me is to dig in the work wardrobe and find something appropriate to wear that fits the holiday body.  I have practically lived in lounge wear this summer. 
Promise to myself- it's not over yet, the weekend is round the corner. 

Have a good day, whether at work or holidaying... take charge of your puppets and enjoy the day. 
Good luck and much love:)

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