Thursday, 18 August 2016

Brothers' day, relationships by choice

So, today was the first day back to reality. New students, new parents, new work team, full action and at around 15.45 I had the same feeling as one usually has after being on a roller coaster ride. Full of adrenaline, pumped with energy in one instance and totally drained out a moment after. I felt like screaming out loud in frustration, felt like telling people exactly what was on my mind, but the civil sense in me stopped me. I guess that is what professionalism means. However the professional me knew when to stop and leave to get home. After short talks with my lovely children and Martin and the tele sales guy who almost sold me washing powder for 500 washes- a whole 12 kg, I realized how I had told these people after a good talk of one minute, very abruptly, that I needed to go. The mobile free zone sign in my face and all the sudden reminders of things to do just made me that kind of nonchalant person.
The walk to the subway was not very pleasant either. For some reasons the shoes were hurting, not even new shoes, but it was just that kind of a day. It was raining and my umbrella that I remembered to bring with me to work was forgotten on the second floor and I had no energy to go get it- blamed myself for that one!
On the way in the train, I checked the whatsapp group chat. The group is called Siddharth's wedding bonanza- where we cousins chat about the wedding in November. It is all about jokes made about pressure of getting in shape, serious fashion advice, song choice for performing dances etc. It is Rakhi today. Rakhi is basically brothers' day. Yes, the gender police will arrest me and put me in for life time, but it is Brothers' day. Sisters tie a band on their brothers' wrist and wish for their prosperity and brothers make a promise to stand by their side.
I am no feminist, I do not accept girls and women treated inferior in any slight way, but I am not a feminist. I am fine being a woman and called the fairer sex, the 'Ladies first' kind of men are charming, I am bringing up my son to hold my bag, carry the food shopping, I am fine passing certain chores that I have no flair for- the gardening, the tyre changing etc. I love the festival- I would love my son to stand up for my daughter and for my daughter to reciprocate.
So I wished all my brothers on Rakhi on this group, headed home and performed the ceremony with kids. We headed further to my cousin's home and carried on the tradition with her absolutely gorgeous 7 month baby girl who had this little ceremony with my son.
I have heard and said that we can choose friends but not families. True, but don't we all have at least one experience in life where we did make the choice with the family too? Where we decided that we will break up a blood relationship or at least got to a point where we gradually minimized the bond?
So in this era, it is coming down to the choice. It is all about relationships and all relationships can be controlled and steered to a make or break point. The realization that I am a part of this group is by choice made me feel proud.
Today's happenings made me feel that I am strong. My professional day's disappointments were not important enough to break me. My whatsapp group of cousins however had the strength to turn my 'kind of' tough day into a really lovely one. One where I had the most ridiculous smile for hours, watching this angel of a baby eat her mashed meat sauce, make funny faces, cry, and finally sleep. Thank you Celina, my Sallo! Thank you Naima and Leopold and I hope that you will be the best siblings one ever can be.
I am now hitting the bed with no remorse, just a satisfied smile.
Happy Rakhi everyone:) Tomorrow is another day.

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