Those teenagers!

I have been a bit sick last couple of days and my head is in a haze of bacterias and God knows what. 
It requires a lot for me to take that decision but today, I stayed at home and I am happy that I made the right decision. 
So, with the fifth cup of tea I went to my 13 year old daughter's room and lied down on her bed. I just took the time to lazily watch her get ready to school. It is actually quite nice to be that sick and feel a bit helpless and just be in the moment. She dressed up and then sat on her chair in front of the mirror. She played the music and started putting on her innocent and modest make-up. And before anyone of your judgmental souls have opinions about her make up- hold your opinions to yourself. 
She looked beautiful but most of all happy. She sang the song while she was putting on her aloe-vera home made mascara. She enjoyed the little make up knowledge she had gathered from the tutorials she had seen. 
Just then it stuck me how times have changed. As a 13 year old my mother would've haunted me down to have been wearing make-up. 'What is the need', 'who do you want to impress'- she might have wondered. 
As I have been sick and at home, basically doing nothing, I go time to think. We become the parents that we want to become. All theories about a repressed childhood with strict parents and a wonderful childhood with 'friend-like' parents is just Bull S**T.
The best parenting is one that comes naturally. That lets you make mistakes, that leaves room for a communication and the one we enjoy. The best parenting is where we let children be individuals, and not just our children. I wish for my kids that they can establish an identity that is theirs- made by their choices. 
The one thing that I can hope for and contribute with is setting examples. Don't take me wrong, I don't mean that once we become parents, we need to be perfect. I just hope that the times I failed, the times I broke down or the times I disappointed someone, my children saw that I strived to succeed, that I got up and moved on and that I wasn't afraid to apologize afterwards. Mistakes are a mirror for identifying the areas of improvement. 
I said goodbye to my beautiful girl and her big brother and watched them go towards the bus stop, talking to each other and laughing on their jokes. I made myself the sixth cup of tea and I feel thankful today. A day at home, feeling sick gave me the sense of joy that I am surrounded with. 
Have a great day!

Madam Bollywood and Homework

It's been a relaxed day. Watched some Indian talk show, drooled over the ugly rock that the Bollywood was wearing and I cannot agree more with the whole sour grapes theory... 
Later checked the Facebook! ( 'the' FB)
Read an article for the second time- written by a parent in Sweden who is mad about the whole thing with homework! I get it, there is this continuous, never ending thing about homework being good or bad... studies, resonating sessions, topic for teachers' meeting blah blah blah. 

http://www.aftonbladet.se/debatt/a/p22pw/skolan-ska-ha-ansvar-for-laxorna--inte-du

What managed to piss the s*'t out of me for the second time was the fact that a parent is fighting the fact that a parent is given the responsibility of a child's homework. Blame it on the span of socio economic differences in the Swedish society- yeah right! I come from India and hello! socio economic span is the same length as the diameter of the globe. Well ok, like they say- opinions are for free and we live in a democratic society and that everyone thus has a right to make an opinion. 
But that as a parent you think it is solely a teacher's responsibility to make sure that a child is educated as the parent might not have the same competence as the teacher- I just don't get it. 

So before all you who don't have kids loose interest in this post, back to madam Bollywood- She was actually far more intelligent than my judging her for the rock. On second thoughts, it takes an intelligent woman to convince her man to buy that size of the rock. 

This woman- Twinkle Khanna is a writer. She mentioned that  the primary reasons for a marriage is to have children, and therefore she did this elaborate genetic check on her boyfriend's family. 
And now back to Sweden, to the parent who despises homework. 
The reason of my hopping between Sweden's parent drama and madam Bollywood is the question WHY HAVE CHILDREN WHEN YOU CANNOT TAKE UP CHALLENGES? Seriously, homework with a child? Can it be that difficult that Mr Google cannot figure it out for a parent trying to spend time with the child and participate in their daily 'Job'? Personally I am all fine with and without homework- but do I think it is someone else's responsibility! NO.

Who told you that parenting is a walk in the park? Why do countries fight for rights of reconsidering pregnancies? Yes, to help people make a conscious decision if they are capable of taking up the beautiful yet not that easy responsibility of bringing up children. Don't parents do all they can to keep kids healthy? Do you have to be doctor for that? No! and one certainly does not have to be a psychologist to help a child through adolescence, a heart break, a failure. 
Reality is that we choose to have children- we need to man up to take up all that comes with it. We fail, unbelievable number of times, as there is no degree in parenting, no license- nothing. So be it- love your children and rest will work itself out. 
If you cannot find the answer to the homework on Google- ask the teacher, communicate- just like you go the doctor when your first aid did not help.