Thursday 13 October 2016

For my husand

Did it sound too tacky? I would've possibly reacted the same way. Yeah yeah, you love each other, you are still in love, you have something special...so what! Don't need to go loud about it, shouldn't it be private?
I understand all these thoughts that we all feel when we see those love photos, status on social media( FB is so dinosaur) I am one of those who gets sceptic about people posting their love statements.
But today, I will do it myself- LOUD and CLEAR.
I am in love with my husband. I love him to pieces. I am not going to boast about how many years we have spent together- been in situations where we were on top of our youth, not a single grey hair, six packs for him and an amazing metabolism for me- never gained a gram without having to do anything. We were romantic, every single minute, rushing home from work to be together. We were there announcing our love, engagement, wedding and pregnancies. We were there in hospitals sick, taking care of each other during sickness, we were disagreeing, having discussions- both pleasant and unpleasant, revealing things from past that we never would've thought we'd do, talking, listening, dancing, drinking, throwing up, waking, sleeping, holding hands, wiping tears and drools and snots when we lost our respective dads, we were there at parents' meetings, at family meetings, trying and testing the loyalties. I can go on and on, like many of you.
My love for you Martin is not unusual to the world, but it is unusual to me.
I have no words, but I have many. If I am doing this completely controversial public display of love, it is barely because the love I feel for you is uncontainable. I love you and I feel no embarrassment in saying this out loud.
I realize this regularly. I love you always but realize it now and then. And I really believe that I want to tell this to you, through this social media- because I can, because I will and because I am proud of having a man like you in my life.
I know a lot of you can relate to this, there is love in your lives too. Say it, all it and it will grow. Isn't that law of attraction?
Saying I LOVE YOU Martin is summarizing it. And today is just any day in our lives.

Sunday 9 October 2016

The Parenting School

So, is there a school for parents? Do I wish there was?
I remember with my son, who is now 13 years, I bought a couple of books, believe it or not- even Dr. Spoke's. I never read them though, maybe scanned through a chapter or two. My parenting career is now 13 years long. How am I doing it? I really don't know. But one thing for sure, we get a lot of remarks about how well brought up our children are. and we go like, ' really, Thanks, we don't know how that happened?' Some people are just generally bad at taking credit for things. 
I will sound a bit philosophical now and of course this is purely my opinion. 
How often don't we refer to our childhood, or parents- good or bad. How often don't we get the feeling that we are turning into our own parents,. Parents, who we disagreed with while they were parenting us. They implanted the values so deep that we did not realize that they were growing upon us. There were times I felt that I wished they had done things in another way. and I take that thought with me and try not to do the same with my kids. Our childhood shapes us so intensely.

It is no theory really. All I am saying is that there is no parenting school. Parenting is an experience. The more you do it, the better you get. Actually, you cannot guarantee even that. 
I tell my children that I wasn't born a parent. I wanted to be a parent and I am so happy that life gave me an opportunity to do so. I feel so rich, it is so exciting, so soul calming. I even don't have a problem when it isn't that rewarding. They are my children after all. I am always there for them-always. 
I take no shame telling my children that I too need to be taught how to be a parent. And that they can actually teach me at times. I tell them that we are not friends, we have a relationship based on love and respect but if  come out every now and then as an annoying, non understanding kind of person at times, that is ok for me too. I tell my son, who is the older kid that he will possibly experience my mistakes as a parent more- the first time thing. He is after all the guinea pig.
Parenting is a job, a hobby, a creative streak that we just do all the time. Don't confuse it with JUST bringing up your children. Parenting for me is a part of life- I love every moment of it. The frustration of some failures just want me to get better the very next moment. 
I am sorry kids if I am not a perfect parent all the time. But I am me and I don't think that any book could have taught me better- because you are unique. I love you both to pieces and that is what parenting means to me.