Monday 4 February 2019

Those teenagers!

I have been a bit sick last couple of days and my head is in a haze of bacterias and God knows what. 
It requires a lot for me to take that decision but today, I stayed at home and I am happy that I made the right decision. 
So, with the fifth cup of tea I went to my 13 year old daughter's room and lied down on her bed. I just took the time to lazily watch her get ready to school. It is actually quite nice to be that sick and feel a bit helpless and just be in the moment. She dressed up and then sat on her chair in front of the mirror. She played the music and started putting on her innocent and modest make-up. And before anyone of your judgmental souls have opinions about her make up- hold your opinions to yourself. 
She looked beautiful but most of all happy. She sang the song while she was putting on her aloe-vera home made mascara. She enjoyed the little make up knowledge she had gathered from the tutorials she had seen. 
Just then it stuck me how times have changed. As a 13 year old my mother would've haunted me down to have been wearing make-up. 'What is the need', 'who do you want to impress'- she might have wondered. 
As I have been sick and at home, basically doing nothing, I go time to think. We become the parents that we want to become. All theories about a repressed childhood with strict parents and a wonderful childhood with 'friend-like' parents is just Bull S**T.
The best parenting is one that comes naturally. That lets you make mistakes, that leaves room for a communication and the one we enjoy. The best parenting is where we let children be individuals, and not just our children. I wish for my kids that they can establish an identity that is theirs- made by their choices. 
The one thing that I can hope for and contribute with is setting examples. Don't take me wrong, I don't mean that once we become parents, we need to be perfect. I just hope that the times I failed, the times I broke down or the times I disappointed someone, my children saw that I strived to succeed, that I got up and moved on and that I wasn't afraid to apologize afterwards. Mistakes are a mirror for identifying the areas of improvement. 
I said goodbye to my beautiful girl and her big brother and watched them go towards the bus stop, talking to each other and laughing on their jokes. I made myself the sixth cup of tea and I feel thankful today. A day at home, feeling sick gave me the sense of joy that I am surrounded with. 
Have a great day!