Holidays over- Monday to Friday

Sounds familiar right?
I have a feeling that a lot of us are starting to feel an anxiety of the holidays getting over. It is Friday and the weekend is coming to an end. For me- so are the 5 weeks of vacation.
I have been traveling with the family, meeting friends on weekdays, having a drink in the middle of the week, going to bed at 2 and waking up at 12. I have literally eaten, prayed and loved. I had a lot of time over to go through the attic, cleaning up, organising, home-improving, making petty cash on second hand websites, trying baking macarons- thrice! The list of things I engaged myself in is in direct relation to the list of things that I have been wanting to do during the months of working hard, not getting time to do. In Swedish there are 2 words that I hear often, 'orka' and 'hinna'. Where orka means - don't have the energy to do something, hinna means don't have the time to do something.
And do I hear myself say these words and hear others say these words often! I love the words in a strange kind of way as they symbolise and summarise the normalcy of allowing oneself to be lazy and the 'normalcy' of the high pace of life.
But this holiday gave me some time to think, to rejuvenate and put some pieces together. Holidays is  a perfect lesson to teach us about a life more than work and must-do's. It is a break to realise how lovely life can get even on an everyday.
It doesn't have to be a traveling to a distant land to feel unattached. It doesn't necessarily have to be a lot of efforts to find moments of joy in being around ones you love.
I know I sound stereotype but I certainly will remember this break as a beginning of a new thinking. I am so grateful that I have a clear definition of happiness. I know we all do, it might take some time to figure it out. But we all definitely have one definition and we all find pleasure in seeing this definition evolve, mature and become selfless.
I wouldn't let this feeling end. I would like to reduce the use of the words 'orka' and 'hinna'. The good news is I love my work too. But I know it is time to put things into perspective. I know Mondays would still feel heavy and Fridays would feel like a walk on clouds. But I will try listening to Friday list on Mondays.
I wish you all a great life and year. Hope you had a fantastic holiday and hope you preserve the positivity and just blend it with everyday-very smoothly, without realising that the holiday is actually over.Now off to preparations for a summer party being held today to wave holidays goodbye- but I have plans to dance it out.

So long...

The emotional hero

At Åland- family's summer place. 

My husband M has spent 43 summers here and ever since I came into the family, I think I have spent at least 10. 
So here I am for a long weekend again. The journey to the island takes around 5 hours, 2 hours of driving through the calm and narrow lanes, beautiful, picturesque and peaceful. Followed by 2 hours in the ferry from Swedish border to Finland's. The ferry is typical, slightly to extremely intoxicated men and women, perfumed women who tested well, quite some perfume at the tax free and yes, they usually have the tax free necklaces around their neck, bling, bling and a general holiday air.
It is a charming experience. After the little drive we take our boat to this family owned island called Skråbjörkö- (google it). The boat ride is serene, completely silent- just sounds of water, birds and the boat. 
My father in law passed away a couple of years back. Sten. At the shore just below the house, we have placed a stone with his name, as a memorial. 
It is impossible not to miss him when one is here. I always tell people that as long as we accept that no one can take place of your own father, mother, daughter or son, all relationships can work. Sten was as close as anyone could get to being my father, actually the one and only person. I have great respect for many other father figures in my life but no one can beat Sten!
(Not just saying it to impress my MIL- she is not into blogs and all)

I loved him. He was clearly an emotional man. I often think of his happy face in the midst of the tears of joy, his sad look during the movies, during tv programmes. I remember the time my father passed away and Sten would drive us to the airport. Guess who had tears in eyes- like genuine ones, not the "I must squeeze out some right now!" ones. Yes, Sten. 
This evening I also saw the love in the eyes of M and his cousin from New Zealand, the one he hadn't met in 4 years. They did not need to pour out- 'I love you's and 'Missed you' kind of phrases, it was evidently visible in their eyes. They stared for the appropriate 20 seconds at each other, smiled a bit, nodded the head to each other like a slight 17 degrees, kind of saying- hey brother! I love you, I missed you. If the observer in me had not stared at them right in their faces, that hard, maybe they could or would have expressed their love a bit more. 

Where am I getting at with this? Yes, emotions, and exhibiting them. It is and art. We usually blame the society for bringing up girls to be able to cry and be sad and boys not to. But I have really started wondering if it is all a matter of balance. If there are a man and a woman, they take turns to be strong. They choose to let go or not. It's like- you can be sad this time, I will take care of you, but next time or next 5 years, it's my turn. Or parents and children taking turns- you know how parents become the children at times?
Sten was a tough pilot all his professional life, had been a member of the caterpillar club, seen a lot of ups and downs, and it was now, after many years he could let go- just my theory. 
My father, exactly the same. My mom got stronger every passing day after my father got sick and she had to take over. 
My question to my own self and you- Is showing emotions a weakness or strength? 
I think that the ability to cry while watching Matrix is strength. To be able to say 'I love you', 'I am sorry', 'I am hurt', 'I am scared', 'I don't know'- strength all the way!
There has to be a physical explanation to why our mouth breaks into a smile, why eyes form tears, why lips loop downwards, why eyebrows rise, why the nose gets red. Our body must be designed in a way so it can cope with the variety of emotions the are meant to be experienced. 
Imagine just embracing, accepting these emotions and not having to judge every situation. To judge whether or not it would be appropriate to show the emotion one is experiencing in the moment. I have a strong feeling that it would make life easier. It will help us get to know ourselves better. We fight the world everyday, meet challenges, the certain, the uncertain- how about not having to fight ones own self?

Give it a shot- I will.